A practical map for how I think about conversations: purposes, insecurities, narrative control, and the question decks I use to spark connection.
Soothes anxiety, fills silence, signals presence.
Cadence, timing, metaphor — craft matters.
Story, surprise, and play to hold attention.
Reveal and invite vulnerability to build trust.
Clarify purpose, motivate action, and align people.
Does the other person like me? Does it matter? Balance authenticity and performance. People often enjoy entertaining interactions — use that to disarm and connect.
Aristotle's classifications of friendships
The conversation you never forget
Intensity, emotional truth, and novelty create lasting memories.
Focus on how they feel before, during, and after. Aim to shape that arc and your place in their mental hierarchy.
Voice, tone, body language
Pitch, cadence, posture, eye contact influence perception of charisma and confidence.
Substance of conversation
Topics, depth, stakes — choose between surface pleasantness and deeper truth depending on telos.
Prose and vocabulary
Practice a river of eloquence: concise metaphors, vivid verbs, and measured rhythm.
Tools I borrow from: Socratic questioning, active listening, mirroring, reframing, and tactical redirection.
Socratic method
Ask questions that reveal assumptions and guide others to their own conclusions.